Another year has come and gone, and with it the dashed hopes and shattered dreams of yesterday that may yet be borne again on the winds of change blowing into the new year. Cheery thought, huh? You know, though I spend the vast majority of my free time alone, I am very rarely ever lonely. The one major exception is New Year’s Eve.
Being around all those people at parties, all of that frivolity, the bacchanalia, watching everyone kiss someone else at midnight…they’re just reminders of another year of my life having passed with so little having changed. Of course, not everything stays the same. I got a new job this past year. That was a good change professionally, but personally, nothing has changed in a long, long time and New Year’s Eve is a depressing reminder of that. So, I choose to spend the night at home alone, year after year, acting as if it’s just like any other night at home by myself (Of which there are many).
This works for the most part, until I hear all of the firecrackers going off. And, of course, I have to watch the ball drop with my non-alcoholic sparkling grape juice in hand. Aside from those things, I keep it normal. I usually watch old movies.
This year I watched Body and Soul and Force of Evil, both with John Garfield. He was a good actor. It’s too bad he died so young. I also watched the original The Pink Panther, which was not as funny as I remembered it being. I’m sure it’s still much funnier than that Steve Martin atrocity though. I kept looking forward to seeing Claudia Cardinale come back on the screen. What a stunning woman she was at that time.
I was invited to spend the New Year with some friends. I turned down the invitation. I know they really wanted me to go, but I just didn’t feel like it. I much preferred staying at home, making some cod that stunk up the condo and didn’t taste nearly as good as I hoped it would, and eating a blah salad on the side. See? Like a typical night alone at home.
Atypical of a regular night at home however, was the number of times that I had to pee. I drank three hot chocolates, three bottled waters, two root beers, two sparkling grape juices and one glass of cranberry juice. I was going crazy with hydration up in this hizzy! I guess I was drowning my once a year sorrows in mostly sweet beverages, hoping to not see them for another 365 days.
That’s not too bad though. I only get this way one day a year. There are people troubled by heartache, longing or loss all 365 days, (or 366, as in 2012) every year. I used to be one of them, but I’ve moved past that now. I just hope you will forgive me this single day’s lament as I reflect on, and look forward to, another year in the same place (It will be 11 years in March) and another year without a girlfriend/significant other (It will be 12 years this month). See? Some things don’t change.
Happy New Year everybody!