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25 Useless, Pointless Facts About Me 4.0: The Final Straw

September 19, 2012

1. Three things I have always wanted to do are to go skydiving, swim with dolphins and get inside of a shark cage out in the ocean, surrounded by great whites and chum. Yum.

2. I have saved every greeting card (Christmas, birthday, Valentine, etc.) that I have received since 2nd grade.

3. I have saved every ticket stub from every movie I have seen since 1995.

4. I have been on many 1st dates, but only 4 second dates. Man, I hate dating.

5. I met my ex-girlfriend over the phone. I was working the overnight, weekend shift at the radio station, and she called up to request “Angel In My Eyes” by John Michael Montgomery. We were running a satellite show at the time so I couldn’t play her request. I told her I could sing it for her. She said okay. I sang it to her and she started stalking me.

6. When I was in 5th grade my class was in a portable. On a January day in 1986, I was going back to the portable from the bathroom in the main building. Up in the sky I saw a big plume of smoke, like from a jet, but thicker and fuller. Ten minutes later, Ms. Gionet told us that the Space Shuttle Challenger had exploded.

7. I registered to vote when I was 17. Republican, of course.

8. A month after I got my driver’s license, a little old Korean couple pulled out in front of me in the rain. My mom’s little Hyundai hydroplaned into the back of the old couple’s Oldsmobile. The big American car driven by the little Korean couple suffered nary a scratch. The little Korean car driven by the big ol’ American folded up like an accordion. The moral? Not even Koreans buy Korean.

9. As a senior in high school, I emceed our Senior Follies variety show. I was a hit, including a skit where I was Dylan on Terry Parker 32211. The teacher/sponsors of the show asked, “Where did you come from?” I impressed them greatly.

10. When I was a kid, we had a dog named Bo. My dad hated that dog. One Summer, my mom and sisters and I went to our grandparents’ house for 2 weeks. When we got back, Bo was gone. My dad said he had sent my dog to a farm.

11. I loved Cub Scouts, but quit Scouts when I moved up to the Boy Scouts, because there were too many juvenile delinquents in my troop.

12. I met Dean Cain and his fiancee at the time, Mindy McCready, when I was working at the radio station. He was really nice. She seemed kind of snooty, but was quite hot, and she smelled great! I actually made her blush by responding to her “It was nice meeting you” with “It was nicer meeting you”.

13. My first concert was Frank Sinatra and Shirley MacLaine when I was 17. I’m pretty sure I was the only non-retiree there.

14. My parents left me at my own high school graduation. I then walked across the Matthews Bridge to get home.

15. I fell out of my bed when I was 2 years old and broke my collarbone. For 2 days I told my mom that my stomach hurt.

16. As a small child I had a blue security blanket, like Linus. I used to pull fuzz from the blanket and stick it in my ears. I stuffed so much in my ears that I had to go to the doctor’s office to flush my ears.

17. Four years ago, my doctor found small traces of that blue fuzz, still clogged in my ears. After 25 years, it had turned to soft putty.

18. My karaoke song is Sinatra’s “That’s Life”. If it’s on the playlist, watch out!

19. I don’t carry cash because I work downtown. I don’t want to lie to some homeless guy when he asks me for money.

20. One of my grandfathers was a minister. The other was a carpenter. Jesus was both.

21. When I was a kid I never got “THE” present that I wanted for Christmas in any given year.

22. The first song I ever wrote was a hippie anthem spoof that I co-wrote with Jeremy Stark in the Summer of ’87. It was called “Love, Peace, Flowers and Freedom”.

“Stop the bomb! Stop the bomb!
No nuclear warfare.
Stop the bomb! Stop the bomb!
Please give a hoot.
Please give a care!”

Perhaps you remember it?

23. For my money, the best fried chicken in the world is Gus’s Fried Chicken in downtown Memphis, Tennessee!

24. I occasionally make calls for parents to their children as Santa Claus. I also make calls for friends to their friends or loved ones to sing “Happy Birthday To You” as Elvis.

25. My birthday is October 24th. The Stock Market Crash of 1929, known as “Black Friday”, also happened on October 24th. The United Nations was also chartered on October 24th. Nothing good ever comes of that day…….


From → Uncategorized

  1. I had to LOL at a few things because I want to do number 1 as well! Great job. I enjoyed the humor, but I also got to know a little about you.

    My blog is:

  2. izzie permalink

    Only 25 come on i need i least 25 everyday !

  3. izzie permalink

    not enough babe 😛

  4. Michelle Albritton permalink

    I am very sorry you had to walk home form graduation…that sucks

  5. Paul S permalink

    Happy belated birthday, hope nothing bad happened on the 24th this year.!

  6. Oh! And my team also lost in embarrassing fashion.

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