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Ode to Bacon

Bacon, oh bacon,

I love you just so.

I love you so much,

I can’t let you go.


Bacon, oh bacon,

I think of you much.

Your scent is enticing.

I thrill at your touch.


The touch of your greasy

And salty, fat skin,

As it dances in my mouth,

It just does me in.


Your aroma’s the greatest;

The most perfect smell.

A world without that scent

Would surely be Hell.


Your flavor does soothe.

I call you “meat candy”.

You’re like nothing else.

No other food can be.


Bacon, oh bacon,

This love song’s for you.

I can’t get enough,

You crispy, pork chew.


The sky’s not always blue,

And neither am I.

We can’t always be happy.

You can’t always cry.


Life is full of ups,

But also full of downs.

Sometimes there’s sunshine,

But the world’s spinning ‘round.


There’s tranquil water

When storms do cease.

There’s sometimes war,

And sometimes peace.


Despite all your struggles,

Much good will come.

There’s balance in living,

Wherever you’re from.

My Top 20 Favorite Movies of the 50s









 9.  SHANE

 10. HONDO






 16.  HARVEY


 18.  THE TALL T


 20.  RIO BRAVO 

Christie Moore

Few efforts have been as futile

As my love for Christie Moore.

I loved her more than most girls since,

And more than any girl before.  

We had class together in fifth grade,

But seventh grade I fell hard.

I tried to woo her with roses

And romantic words from the Bard.  

She didn’t fall for me one bit.

Back then I couldn’t see why,

But my hindsight vision is clearer.

I see why she would deny.  

I reeked of desperation,

Although my heart was pure,

And I wasn’t much to look at,

Nor was I very secure.  

Seeing her now I grow wistful.

My love for her never quite died.

Like her beauty, and memories of her,

My feelings for her I’ll abide.

My review of FURIOUS 7

FAST FIVE is still the best in the series. FURIOUS 7 was okay, but again, my main complaint is the same as always: Pull the camera back, slow down the action, and keep the damn camera still. There are some cool and ridiculous things going on in the ways of stunt-work  and whatnot, but too much of it is muddied up with CGI, which only helps make it more difficult to see exactly what the heck is going on. I can’t hit on this point nearly enough. When Jason Statham fights The Rock, I want to be able to actually SEE what’s going on. When Jason Statham fights Vin Diesel, I want to actually see them fight, not a bunch of shaky, superfast camera edits. When Tony Jaa is edited in a way that makes him seem not nearly as incredible as he is, you’ve done something wrong. But okay, enough of that. It’s still mindless fun. Not much of it will stick with you after the movie is over, except maybe the cars falling from the plane, The Rock ripping off his cast and strolling down the street with a ginormous machine gun, Kurt Russell being a badass, the tribute to Paul Walker, and the gorgeous Nathalie Emmanuel (Missandei from Game of Thrones) exiting the water. One more thing, I don’t know if it would be considered suspenseful or not, but every time Paul Walker was onscreen I wondered if that was the scene in which his character was going to die. It’s a rather morbid thought, but I couldn’t help think it. I will not spoil anything regarding Paul Walker. FURIOUS 7 a big, stupid dose of brain-dead moviemaking. Enjoy it while it lasts. You may not remember much of it later.

My brief review of IT FOLLOWS

I saw IT FOLLOWS today. What a cool, little horror movie that was. It’s not full of a bunch of “scary” jump cuts. It also doesn’t go the grungy, grimy route a la SAW and HOSTEL. It takes a neat little premise: the idea that a person who is being followed by this thing has sex with someone else and passes it along, and makes it a well-acted, nicely-photographed, thrifty little horror/thriller. The star, Maika Monroe, might just make a name for herself in the horror and thriller genres, if this movie and THE GUEST are any indication. She’s good at being scared and screaming, and the camera seems to like her. I recommend IT FOLLOWS.

My review of CINDERELLA

Well, I went to see CINDERELLA by myself. Yep. I don’t care. I’m telling the World Wide Web that I did, and that I liked it. It is nice to see a fairy tale end how it should. And though there is a little darkness to it, it is a nice complement to Disney’s animated CINDERELLA and not an overly dark, ugly contradiction, as MALEFICENT was to SLEEPING BEAUTY. The production design was beautiful and the costumes will probably be nominated for Oscars. These fancy, florid touches help enable the belief in a world where fairy godmothers and magic can exist. Also assisting in that ability is the fact of Cinderella’s relationship with her animal friends. They don’t so much converse with each other as in the animated version, but they understand her and she understands them. Lily James (Cousin Rose from Downton Abbey) is lovely, and totally believable as a pure, sweet, kind-hearted girl. Richard Madden (Robb Stark from Game of Thrones) is the type of blandly handsome prince that is just right for a movie about a Disney princess. Cate Blanchett owns as the wicked stepmother. Her wickedness is somewhat “explained”, but it is not meant to be understood or for sympathy. You will not sympathize with her. Her daughters are simply awful, as they should be. Helena Bonham Carter is daffy and fun in her scene as the Fairy Godmother. Other familiar faces are British acting legend Derek Jacobi as the King, Stellan Skarsgard (THOR and THE AVENGERS) as the Grand Duke, British actor Ben Chaplin as Cinderella’s father, Rob Brydon (THE TRIP and THE TRIP TO ITALY) as the royal painter, and my future baby mama Hayley Atwell (CAPTAIN AMERICA’s and TV’s Agent Carter) as Cinderella’s mother. The evil stepsisters are played by Holliday Grainger (TV’s Bonnie and Clyde and The Borgias) and Sophie McShera (Daisy on Downton Abbey). With the little bit of darkness there is no real danger and nothing of which little ones might be afraid, but there are three parental deaths, which is probably a Disney movie record. None of them die in violent ways however, so the trauma, if any, should be minimal. All in all, Kenneth Branagh has directed a very nice, lovely complement to the original animated Disney classic.


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