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Rodney at Bat

Rodney was nine years old and loved baseball. He was on a little league team with his older brother Daniel. Their dad was the coach of their team, the Braves. Rodney loved baseball, but he could not hit.

Rodney’s dad made him play in almost every game. Even when he pretended to be sick his dad put him in the game. Even when he really was sick his dad put him in the game. Rodney did not want to disappoint his dad by striking out all of the time. He didn’t want to embarrass his brother Daniel. He also didn’t want to be picked on by all of his teammates. He didn’t want to cause his team to lose.

Because he could not hit, he would swing wildly in hopes of hitting something. His dad made him stop doing that.

“Keep your eye on the ball, son. You can do it. I know you can,” his dad would say.

Rodney then began to not swing at any pitches at all, hoping he would be walked. This worked a few times before opposing teams caught on. Rodney began to strike out without ever swinging at anything.

The final game of the season came, and Rodney’s team would make it to the playoffs with a victory over the dreaded Blue Jays.

The game was close for all nine innings. The Blue Jays would score a run, then the Braves would score a run to tie the game. The Blue Jays would score two runs, and the Braves would come right back and score two more to tie the game again.

In the ninth inning however, the Blue Jays did not score a single run. The score was 9 to 9 going in to the bottom of the inning. Rodney had not been up to bat once the entire game. He liked it. He wanted his team to win, and didn’t want to ruin their chances.

The first two Braves’ batters in the bottom of the ninth reached first base with singles. The first of these was Rodney’s older brother Daniel. Rodney and his teammates were excited. They were tied with two on and no outs in the bottom of the ninth!

Unfortunately, the next two batters both struck out. It was getting tense. The fifth batter for the Braves walked on four straight pitches. Now the bases were loaded. The game was tied 9 to 9 in the bottom of the ninth with two outs. It was now Wally Pipp’s turn at bat.

As luck would have it, Wally Pipp tripped on his way up the dugout steps and twisted his ankle. Rodney knew what this meant.

“Rodney! You’re up!” commanded his dad.

“What?! But Dad! My stomach hurts really bad! And I have a sore throat!” Rodney pleaded.

“You’ll be fine”, was his dad’s reply. “You can do it. I know you can.”

After all of the times he had let his team down, Rodney knew that his dad still believed in him. He took a big gulp and slowly walked up to the batter’s box.

He watched as the umpire brushed off home plate. He smelled the freshly cut grass and hot dogs. He felt the breeze blowing softly on his face. He could hear the fans cheering for him from the stands. These were the things he loved about baseball. He could also hear the groans of his teammates as he dug in at home plate, but one voice rang louder than all of the others. He could hear his dad cheering him on,

“You can do it Rodney! Keep your eye on the ball, son!”

There stood Rodney at bat. It was the bottom of the ninth inning. The score was 9 to 9. The bases were loaded. There were two outs. Rodney gulped another hard gulp as the first pitch flew towards him.

The ball seemed more to float towards him, as if in slow motion. The wait was long. He let it go by.

“Strike one!” yelled the umpire.

Rodney’s teammates, including his brother Daniel, groaned loudly in recognition of the familiar sight. Rodney waited for the next pitch. The ball floated past him again. Rodney did not move an inch.

“Strike two!” the umpire yelled again, reminding Rodney that this might be his last chance.

He waited for the third pitch. He saw it coming at him. The moment seemed frozen in time for Rodney. Then he remembered his dad’s words, “Keep your eye on the ball, son!” Then he did the unthinkable. He closed his eyes and swung at the ball as hard as he could, just as his dad had told not to do!

He heard a crack! He began to open his eyes. He thought, “Did I hit it?” Just then he realized that the crack he heard was not the ball hitting his bat. The ball had hit the side of his batter’s helmet. He fell to the ground in pain.

His team cleared the bench and ran out to him. They were coming to see if he was okay, but not just for that reason. His brother ran home from third, cheering wildly the entire way. He thought, “My own brother is happy that I got hurt?”

The entire team, his brother and dad included, picked him up on their shoulders in celebration. Rodney was confused.

“Rodney, you being hit by the pitch drove me in! We won! You did it!” explained his brother in excitement.

“I told you that you could do it”, his dad whispered to him. “You tried. I’m so proud of you.”

Rodney, though bruised from the force of the pitch, and in great pain, had never been happier in his life. He loved baseball.

Princess James

Princess James came across the sea

To see the U.S.A.

Here he met his wife-to-be

And decided he would stay.


For him, this girl was too pretty,

Too smart, too sweet, and too fun,

But somehow she thought him witty,

So she let him be “The One”.


Now he writes things sappy

About their life together.

They’ve a child and seem happy.

Kelly’s stuck with James forever.

Your Life With Me

Your life would have been very different,

But better? I don’t think I can say.

I know mine would have been so much better

In every imaginable way.

Waking up next to you daily

After falling asleep at your side,

Would have made me a most happy husband,

And hopefully you a most happy bride.

Our kids would have looked like their mother

In the ideal scenario for me.

In the off chance they looked like their father

I’d still love them unconditionally.

I don’t know if we would have had money.

To this day I’m not wealthy at all.

But your drive and ambition might have pushed me

To dream bigger and stay on the ball.

We wouldn’t be traveling as often

As you are now so accustomed to doing.

I really don’t care for long travels,

So travel I would mostly be eschewing.

Our house might not be quite as lovely

As the one in which you do now reside.

A smaller home in a less fancy locale

Might be something you’d have to abide.

Our cars might be less than brand new.

Our shoes might have to last longer.

I’m not very handy with repairing things.

My handyman skills could be stronger.

I still haven’t mastered the grill yet,

So our holiday meals just might suffer.

Of course I would try to do better

To prevent our steaks from getting tougher.

And of course there’s the fact I don’t drink.

A deal breaker in so many cases.

You’d always feel compelled to explain me

To all of your friends’ jaw-dropped faces.

And I hear drinking alone is no good.

In fact, I find it quite sad,

So I’d hate for you to limit your fun

For the tee-totaling problem I had.

Yes, your life would just be too different.

Probably worse, and maybe no better.

Although mine would be better improved

In every way, right down to the letter.

Another Word

“Beautiful” can’t do justice

To the way you look to me.

“Gorgeous” also fails

To describe your quality.


A new word must be made;

Created with you in mind,

That approximates your beauty.

As yet it’s undefined.


It’s not just merely physical,

Your undefinable-ness,

But your energy and your glow,

All the things that you possess.


It’s in your touch and in your smile.

It’s in your voice and in your eyes.

A word to describe your “everything”

Is a word I must devise.


Until the word is created,

I’ll give you compliments galore,

Populated by numerous adjectives

All too often heard before.

Quote about nature and nurture

Every orchard has bad apples. An untended orchard is bound to have even more.

Quote about employment

No job that keeps a roof over my head is beneath me.

Ode to Bacon

Bacon, oh bacon,

I love you just so.

I love you so much,

I can’t let you go.


Bacon, oh bacon,

I think of you much.

Your scent is enticing.

I thrill at your touch.


The touch of your greasy

And salty, fat skin,

As it dances in my mouth,

It just does me in.


Your aroma’s the greatest;

The most perfect smell.

A world without that scent

Would surely be Hell.


Your flavor does soothe.

I call you “meat candy”.

You’re like nothing else.

No other food can be.


Bacon, oh bacon,

This love song’s for you.

I can’t get enough,

You crispy, pork chew.


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